Welcome! My name is Kierra, I am 28 years old and I created My Wellness Mindset with the hopes of sharing mental health awareness and supporting as many people as I could on their journey of wellbeing. Having overcome my fair share of adversity and trauma, I have always been passionate about breaking the cycle of trauma and mental illness not only for myself, but anyone else who is ready to do the work and make a change.
It isn’t very often that I will share my own experiences (which is typically the way for a therapist), however I do believe that my life experiences and learning to overcome these is a massive contributor to my therapeutic approach, and how I can create genuine connections with my clients. So, feel free to read on if you would like to, however do feel free to skip over this post if this information doesn’t serve you.
My Story…
Until I was around 8 years old, I mostly lived with my mum and younger brother. My mum has battled a drug addiction since before I was born, and most of this time with her was spent living in houses that weren’t so safe (to put it nicely). I lost count of the number of houses we lived in or schools that we went to over these years…which I later learned has very inconvenient side effects when trying to form relationships and friendships in adulthood. I experienced consistent physical, mental, and sexual abuse over these formative years which set the scene for a dysregulated nervous system, attachment issues and basically ruined any chance of me having healthy relationships until I did the work.
When I was 8, we went into the foster care system and lived with my foster family for the next 6 years (minus a few temporary stays with mum when the department believed she was ready for custody again). For me, this was the best thing that could have happened and I am grateful every single day. My foster mum is a literal angel on earth, she took myself and my brother on at a very young age and I can say without a doubt that she changed the course of my life, simply by being a healthy role model who loved us endlessly.
I was 14 when the department handed us back to Mum, she was still very much an addict at this point. I spent one year with her, where she was gone more than not. My younger brother only lasted a few months with her before getting expelled from his school and beginning his own battle with drug addiction and crime. After a few overdoses and the subsequent hospital visits, Mum lost custody of me and I spent the next few years living with various family members until I was 18 and able to leave and create my own life.
I did quite well at school (as I learned that being the ‘good girl’ and performing well gave me positive attention, which my abandonment wounds craved. I found psychology when I was 15 watching Silence of the Lambs, I was instantly drawn to Clarise and envied her ability to study and understand human behaviour (slightly weird, I know). Once I started looking into what psychology was I was instantly hooked… I finally found a way to understand why people do what they do, which might help me understand why my mum chose drugs over her children, why my dad had no interest in knowing his daughter, and for why people are ultimately ‘good’ or ‘bad’. I finished school, got a scholarship into University and begun my studies.
Fast forward 11 years, I have multiple degrees and qualifications in various branches of Mental Health studies, and found the answer to many of the questions that I had as a child. Some of these answers satisfying, some not so much. While this form of childhood was chaotic, unsafe and has absolutely had impacts on my adult life that are quite inconvenient to say the least, I am grateful for the journey that it sent me on and that I am now able to understand others, the world and myself at a deeper level.
My mission is to continue to use these experiences combined with my studies to support others through their challenges, and to show those who have been born into less than desirable families that there is a way out. I hope that understanding a little bit of my story has been helpful to whoever is reading this, and you can feel comfort in knowing that you are not alone, and you do not have to be trapped with your trauma.
P.S. If you're interested in a little activity, I recommend getting a childhood photo of yourself and writing him/her a “thank you” letter. A thank you for getting you through all of the difficult times, for the strength that it took to overcome the challenges that you did, and anything else that pops up for you. I know this was a very healing activity for me to do :)
